Favourite things

(Coffees with) Jesper







Laughs with the ladies












And parents

I am the one to catch

Last week, I spent some hours securing the home of a single mother and her three children. She had failed to pay her rent on time and had received an eviction notice.

The week before, I made sure that a single mother of 8 did not have her power cut off due to unpaid bills.

This week, I went to the bank with a Lebanese woman who has never in her life had control of her own funds, nor paid a simple phone bill. It is a teaching experience.

Late Thursday afternoon, I had a talk with a woman who came to Denmark from Bosnia 15 years ago. She had, during the war, been held captive by a Serbian officer and abused over a period of 14 days. After 15 years and no treatment for her trauma and PTSD, she's run down and desperately seeking an outlet. I listen.

Friday morning, I had an appointment with woman from Kosovo whose husband has been denied residence permit in Denmark due to lack of 'family ties'. The authorities claim that he, his wife and their 2-year-old may as well create a life and a future for themselves in Kosovo. She is pregnant and depserate, as she fears the life she will lead in the future.

On the same day, I helped an Afghani woman who is about to hand in her application for Danish citizenship. One of the conditions for granting it is that the subject has been 'self-sufficient' for 5 years prior to the application - meaning that she has not received any social welfare means for 5 years.

Today, I had a long talk with an Afghani man who is very highly educated and hence, does not fit well in the social welfare system. He and I are trying to find better solutions.

I spoke on the phone the other day with a 'pig-coloured' Dane, as we say, who was planning to bring his American wife to Denmark and was concerned about language school and financial support in case of need.

I also had a conversation with an Iraqi man who wishes to bring his wife and three children back to Iraq. I gave him advice on how to apply for the special services, the Danish state provides in these cases - financially, health wise and practically.

I send people home, I send people back, I help them stay where they are, I help them move forward. I have to stay calm and cool and collected because they do not. I have to be patient and understanding because they do not meet those capacities anywhere else. I have to stay focused because it has a deep impact on their lives how I handle myself. I have to leave part of my personality at the door because none of these people udnerstand irony - and I have to expose other features of my personality because it is the only thing that will get my through the day.

I love my job, care for the people - learn and take inspiration from the humans - but I'm so freakin' tired when I get home in the afternoon!

Persepolis - the Iranian revolution illustrated and animated

I recently watched the film Persepolis based on the book by Marjane Sartrapi. I was given the book some years ago for my birthday - at the time, I hadn't heard of it. I thouroughly enjoyed it and read it many times, every time discovering some new detail. To those who haven't heard of it - it is a cartoon created by Sartrapi about her childhood in Iran and her subsequent exile existence in Austria and France.



The book is fantastically illustrated, and you come to love the arrogant and self-righteous Marjane at age 7 when she is told stories of the revolution and its adversaries by her uncle. Her uncle makes a deep impression on her and she makes him the promise to never forget her family's stories. The book Persepolis is a testament to her family history and it is a fascinating and gripping story.

I would've never thought that the story of the Iranian revolution could be told in a cartoon - nor that the film version of the same would move me. But both did and it was a very pleasant surprise.

Read it. Watch it. Let yourself be moved by the charming and philosphical Marjane. I hope you'll learn to love her like I did.

25 things

A friend of mine sent me a challenge on facebook, asking me to list 25 random things that came to mind - little did she know that THIS would happen (neither did I, but glad it did...)


1. I often have the feeling that there’s a tiny democracy inside my head, representatives of absolutely every perspective on a situation arguing what will be my next move. It’s part of my daily life to argue with all the representatives – me being the chairman of the parliament and all – and it’s very tiring.

2. This week, I’ve been down with the pandemic flu. The democracy mentioned above was usurped and foreign powers invaded my space. Seriously scary business, I was getting worried.

3. I love listening to the radio, especially in the morning. P1, national radio in Denmark, have a sort of all-round show with analyses of national and international news and certain specific situations. I like how I listen and think “man, that’s interesting” and the following moment, I’ve completely forgotten about it.

4. One of my favourite things about life is mornings. I love the sensation of warm covers on my skin, possible my love by my side and the expectation for coffee. A whole new day to experience.

5. I get too involved with cases at work (surprise!). I get so worked up on social injustice, my head explodes several times a week. Paradoxically, the frustration is what makes me good at what I do. But I must admit, after 9 months in ‘the real world’ (= having a job), I realise that I make too few compromises with my work and too many with my health.

6. LittleBIGPlanet fascinates me.

7. I’m envious of most people. Think they do better than me, are happier, more balanced and have better jobs than I do. I’m generally not very good at being satisfied with what I’ve got. I’m working on it…

8. My partner, J, is the best person to know me. What I mean is I have never met anyone who is that good at knowing my moods, my moves and what moves me. Strangely, I find myself realising in the process that is a relationship that he only knows (intellectually) what I tell him – and yet he knows everything! Amazing – and also a bit scary…

9. My life has changed dramatically since 1 April 2008 when I started my first job. I don’t know how I’m supposed to leave my colleagues come 30 June where the position ends… It’s like my world changes every 1½ years with big decisions and transitions and just when I’m settled, I want to get going again.

10. Beverly Hills 90210 is still good entertainment. This surprised my colleagues at work the other as I am apparently ‘not the type to watch that kind of show’. I have the feeling that Steve, Brandon, Kelly, Donna, David, Nat and all the others were my best (only??) friends in my teens, and thus I can never leave them.

11. I consider the past year as one of the most important in my life. It’s weird how I can do that when I haven’t lived my life yet! But it feels important now. Starting a 8-16 job with huge challenges, responsibilities – and the ease with which I undertook the tasks. 6 months later I realised the consequences of the process: I’ve made my extracurricular activity my job and hence, don’t know what to with my free time. I’ve tried to invent a hobby but it feels awkward trying to force an interest for something forward. I seem to keep returning to things related to humans with troubles, someone I can be there for. But I shouldn’t take on anymore responsibilities for other people’s feelings… I got one great idea though – signed up for a choir and started singing with 50 others last week. Heaven!

12. Every year, I mark the day in my calendar when I first hear the birds sing – or when I first notice properly. It always makes me remember that I can’t control all things, I can only control the way I respond to them.

13. I have seen the Masada in Israel. Like so many other historic sites – mainly churches, monasteries and the like – I was spellbound by the magnificence of human enterprise, the wisdom of human engineering and the ability to produce such structures. All this is inherent in the human condition – magnificence, enterprise, engineering and productivity – but these days we seem to be blind to it. I think like this. Everyday, a colleague of mine brings to work a bracelet of little neon-coloured plastic beads. His daughter made it and he carries it around in his pocket. A bracelet made by a child – I figure a child will only make something exactly the way, she wants it. Truly magnificent.

14. Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed by the sheer size of the world. The thought that I have lived 3 months in India, 6 months in Italy, 10 months in The Netherlands and 6 months in Greece – already. I can’t wait to see the rest of the world.

15. I AM a serious chick, I really am. Sometimes I wish I could just not care so much, not have the daily sessions with the parliament in my head. But in reality, I would miss it terribly if things were different, would miss myself if I were different. I am blessed with a mind and spirit constructed this way and I am thankful that I’ve found a way to bring these talents out into the world. I can’t wait until I get better at all the rest…

16. Every once in a while, I have epiphanies about myself that utterly change the way I behave. I had one this night while I was fighting the fever (maybe this caused the epiphany…), awake, kicking the covers. I never believe I am good enough. I always think everybody else is better than me at everything. However, it is one of the hardest things for me to admit that someone is better than me at something. Isn’t that strange? Maybe it’s because in admitting someone else’s greatness, I admit my own little-ness. But I already have so that doesn’t make any sense. I thought a while about it and tried to find a solution – and realised that I’m just being stupid!! What a relief! I can change me…

17. Sometimes, this newfound adulthood feels constraining. I think of myself as a bug caught in an upside-down glass. Lot of air above me though not endless heights and a very confined space to move in. Even if the glass is transparent, it’s like everything on the other side of it, is blurred and somehow unimportant. The rim of the glass is the horizon and I don’t see beyond it. Work. That’s my life. Horizon is at the end of my desk. Ugh. I do not want to live like this. I beg J to take me away, drive out to the sea in his little Skoda and show me a different horizon. Sweet.

18. Making new friends. Staying in touch with the old. Really difficult things. I’ve come to understand that since I now have a ‘best friend’, like back in the day, I’ve stopped needing others like I did before. I always wondered what happened to my girlfriends when they settled with their men – how could they just change like that? How could they not miss the things they used to do with me? Maybe the same thing happened to me though the situation is different now since I am ‘the last’ of the singles. I don’t want my life to be closed around me and J, I want a lot of people to take part in our lives and us in theirs. I want us to make new friends together.

19. New life. A friend of mine is pregnant. One of my best friends. It scares me. I have ‘lost’ her once before but she found me again – I’m afraid I won’t be a good enough friend to her in her pregnancy and when the child comes. You know? I’ve lost other friends in this process and it pains me that we weren’t able to find common ground despite the differences in our lives. I truly believed – and still want to believe – that this difference, this most giant leap into adulthood, can be overcome by friendships, even when friends do not follow the same path through life. Otherwise, I foresee that I will lose all of my friends – the exact opposite of my wish which is to be an integrated part of my friends’ life whatever happens in it. And new life is such an extraordinary and immense happening, I cannot accept that it makes friendship impossible.

20. The Bucket List. An interesting film – very cliché and predictable, but certainly worth seeing. Reminded me that I want to make a “kick the bucket-list” because I don’t want to regret the things I did not do – like my mother always said.

I couldn't think anymore this morning, but will post 5 more things when I think of something... Watch out for my Bucket List!